


i'll never tell but i hope she smells my perfume

by throwaway18



Series: she keeps me warm [5]
Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, F/F, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwaway18/pseuds/throwaway18
Summary: joohyun deals with jealousy for the first time
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Series: she keeps me warm [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790314
Comments: 10
Kudos: 116





	i'll never tell but i hope she smells my perfume

**Author's Note:**

> rated M for some implied stuff 'cause i can't write smut

Joohyun dives into the pool head first.

She’s no swimmer, but she takes advantage of the rarity of her girlfriend’s house being empty tonight. The pool has become a decorative piece at the backyard more than anything else, and she ends its unused streak once and for all. With the lack of her usual hesitation, she shivers at the cool water surrounding her. She’s still in her undergarments but the clothing could only do so much to keep her skin from being shielded by the drop of temperature.

Even so, she welcomes the cold with open arms, closing her eyes and sinking her body lower until the water completely washes off the uneasiness invading her system. Until they’re left to be dealt with above ground. But as she feels her bottom bump against the floor of the pool, her clouded mind manages to materialize the image of her girlfriend smiling from ear-to-ear, face lightening up at the running figure towards her. Succeeded by an innocent embrace between two former lovers.

An embrace less innocent in Joohyun’s eyes.

“They’re friends before anything else, unnie. She’s yours now.” Joy had pacified her on the sidelines of the soccer field, the emotions on Joohyun’s sleeve clear-cut for the younger girl to decipher. Joohyun was seeing red at that point, an ugly blaring red that threatened to unleash this relentless monster buried deep inside her burning chest. The creature thrashes, demanding to be freed from its captivity. Joohyun is susceptible to its wishes. “Exes can be friends,” Joy added as an afterthought.

Whatever other reassurances Joy had said to her, the ruse was too late. Joohyun had already barreled herself into a bottomless pit of doubt. Her resistance had been futile, thoughts scrambling upon scrutinizing the quirk of Wendy’s mouth, the intensity of her gaze on Sejeong. A boulder had wedged itself in Joohyun’s throat. Was she imagining things? Or was there something hidden in Wendy’s stare?

Could she still have remnants of longing there?

Joohyun hates the seeds of her insecurities for planting the upsetting notions into her head, needlessly driving herself crazy in second guessing Wendy’s actions. _She_ is the current girlfriend. Sejeong is the ex-girlfriend. Why does her mind have the impulse to complicate the facts? Twist them into an unsettling paranoia?

When she resurfaces, she finds Wendy sitting by the edge of the pool, alabaster legs dipped into the water. Cropped chestnut hair bathed in the moonlight. Partially illuminated face breathtaking and serene. She remains immobile on her spot, watching Joohyun intently with a small curve of a smile that hardly widens to her cheeks. A poorly concealed moue of worry. She’s reading her, Joohyun could tell from her eyes. Flipping through the pages of chapters Joohyun has spread out for her to read.

But she doesn’t want Wendy to discover the new reservations that have been penned in between the lines. Wendy is close to asking, mouth already parting. _Are you alright? Are you okay?_ _Are we okay? What's wrong?_ Doesn't fail to be considerate.

Joohyun wonders. _Were you like this with her too?_ Wendy is about to speak, but she won't have any of it. She hasn’t arranged her bearings to be able to vocalize her plaguing issues, so she beats her to it, keeps their gazes locked on one another. Treads closer to where Wendy’s legs are. The water ripples somewhere above her chest. Joohyun licks her wet lips. She catches Wendy swallowing. Her girlfriend is slack jawed at their decreasing proximity. The words die and try in her mouth. Forgotten. Denied of release. Shoved into the backseat. Joohyun is glad the distraction is working, teasingly strips off her underwear and bra in the water, discarding them haphazardly to one of the lounge chairs behind her girlfriend.

Wendy’s eyes have darkened their shade. She breathes, a beat or three. It doesn’t take long for her own clothes to join Joohyun’s wet garments and for herself to join the brunette in the water.

“I love you,” Wendy says to her as they are pressed together, just as she tells her every waking moment. Noses brushing. Breaths mingling. _But did you love her more than you love me?_ Joohyun is tempted to question. She spies the droplets of water twinkling at the foot of her girlfriend's lashes. _Do you have thoughts about your time together while you're with me?_

The possibility sears onto her flesh. It stings. Like a pinprick of a needle. She's in disarray. Helpless. She's a disgraceful mess yet Wendy looks at her. _Looks_ at her like nothing else should matter. That her woes are meaningless. But meanings sprout left and right at the snippets of their interactions flashing before her. Their smile, their laugh, their embrace. _Tell me. Are you thinking about her or about me?_ Her questions are tossed aside at a pair of lips claiming hers in a passionate kiss, and she shudders, drawing her need through her tongue. More passionate kisses, passionate touches, ultimately leading to more passionate things within the hour.

Joohyun wraps her legs around Wendy’s waist, and she is dragged to the nearest wall of the pool, the sounds of water splashing and their moaning splitting through the heavy atmosphere. _Think of me. Only think of me._ She claws on Wendy’s back, nails leaving half-moon indents and red marks on the skin as a physical evidence of her presence. That _she’s_ been here. No one else. That the traces of Sejeong have been overwritten by her mouth, cries of the girl’s name replaced by hers.

She hungrily craves Wendy’s touches, eager to be reminded that this is the present. _I’m yours. Yours and only yours._ She desperately carves her proclamations on Wendy’s collarbone, eager to remind her girlfriend that she can’t be tethered to her history. _Whenever you’re with her, please don’t forget me._ She mewls her name into her ear, gasping it repeatedly like a memorized prayer. Voice needy. Pitch higher and higher. _Wendy. Remember me like this. Wendy. Remember what you've done to me. Wendy._

_More. Wendy. Yes. Wendy._

Coming undone for the final time, she nips on Wendy’s neck to seal the deal. _You are mine. I am yours. We are no one else's but each other's._ She rests her forehead on her girlfriend's chest. It beats frantically. Joohyun recuperates. She does the same to Wendy, evoking whimpers and pants and a melodic _Joohyun. Yes. Joohyun. There. Yes. Yes._ And Joohyun gives everything to her. Kisses and a body to latch onto as Wendy shudders. Everything but her thoughts. It's the only way she knows how to cope with her haywire emotions.

So when she readies herself for the university’s soccer match the next day, she wears the bites on her skin like a trophy. Sprays on a generous amount of her signature lavender-scented perfume. Joohyun stares at her reflection on the mirror. Is this how she’s going to be? _I’ll be okay. Everything will revert back to normal and we’ll be okay._ She smiles. Her disconcerted expression says otherwise.

As the whistle blows at the conclusion of the game, she runs out of the bleachers before Sejeong could reach her girlfriend, enveloping Wendy in a hug that has her body firm against her. Joohyun feels secured encased like this. _She’s mine. Mine. Mine. Mine._ Chin propped on Wendy’s shoulder, she glances at the corner of the field, sees Sejeong vigilantly eyeing them from her standpoint. _You had your chance. This is my chance now._

They have a brief stare down. It lasts for seconds. Sejeong just stares and stares, doesn't frown nor glare, but she is unabashed. Joohyun glowers. _Stay in your lane. Know your place._ She presses herself further, nosing against Wendy's neck. She trails kisses on her jawline. Rubs her palm on the muscles of her girlfriend's arms. Ensuring that every scent of her is marked on her territory. She inhales onto Wendy's jersey. Lavender. She smirks.

And when Sejeong comes over for a congratulatory hug, Joohyun is hoping she will be able to smell her perfume.

**Author's Note:**

> jealous joohyun is hot and all but can be toxic af
> 
> if any of you have problems with your bf/gf, please have a conversation with them. and if you're having doubts about them, i think you're going to have a lot of reflecting and reconsideration on your relationship


End file.
